Using Friends for Personal Gain

There has been this nagging little voice in the back of my head for a while now that generally makes me suspicious of people who push to become a friend. They do not go through the steps of acquaintance and then friend and finally close confidant. They basically garner an introduction, usually through a mutual friend, and then jump right into “BFF” status. After dealing with people in the past who have pushed their way into my life and used me for my connections or the perks that I have worked hard to have, I am a little leery and probably a little cautious around people.

Lately that little voice in my head has been screaming and I have felt anxious around certain people who I would consider to be acquaintances. I could not conclusively figure out why I felt so uneasy around these people. Then it hit me when one person asked me over and over again to introduce him to certain people within my circle. It was a little weird and I was extremely uncomfortable.

It is human nature to use each other for personal gain but when it gets out of hand or becomes so uncomfortable for one party that is when it has gone too far. After evaluating all of my close friends and my acquaintances, I have come to the conclusion that I have reason to be concerned. Of everyone in my circle, there are several who would be considered users and have been draining me emotionally.

I could not figure out why I was beginning to suffer burn-out in every aspect of my life. I just wanted to curl up and hide from the world. Almost every time I answered my phone or stepped into my work at the school I was bombarded with requests or demands for more and more. I was finally to the point where I had no more to give. I came to my breaking point and was fed-up with the “give me more” attitudes of the people around me. I began dreading spending time with friends and family and I avoided going into work.

I am still at that point, although I now understand where my burn-out is coming from and I can start dealing with it. It is time to purge my life of those users who have infiltrated themselves into my life. I went through the same burn-out about four years ago and actually came to the same conclusions. So after cleaning house and removing certain people from my life, I felt uplifted and ready to face any challenge. Once I purge my life again and start anew, I will hopefully be able to gain energy and momentum for the passions in my life.

If you feel that you have a user for a friend, my advice to you is to cut them loose. They will only continue to drain you and make you feel unimportant and inconsequential. It may be hard to break away and start over with people who truly want to know you and will be there for you, but I can guarantee it will be well worth it in the long run when you need true friends to lean on during hard times.